When to make it official after dating

MORE: When a Guy Won’t Call You His Girlfriend Before having the talk, or even getting serious with a guy you’re dating, decide what it is you really, truly want.

When you recognize and admit what it is you want, you will be better able to move towards it.

I’m not saying emotions are a bad thing, we’re women and our capacity to feel and express our emotions is also our greatest strength, but it’s just important to remember that men aren’t wired the same way and in some instances, coming from a place to strong emotion can cause your message to get lost in translation so it’s better to speak in a language he is better equipped to understand. Do not open with the dreaded “we need to talk” line.

The relationship trudged on for some time, but the dynamic had completely changed. Okay, so now that you’ve seen an illustration of what to do, let’s get concrete and talk about the right way to have the relationship-defining talk. Relationships work best when you can just live in the moment and let things unfold naturally, without pressure or an agenda.If it’s a good relationship, if you connect and genuinely get and appreciate each other, then it will just happen.And you won’t even feel that anxiety that comes from not knowing.Take a few days or even weeks to get clear on exactly what you want from a relationship.Let this information penetrate your being and embolden you.

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If he’s iffy or on the fence, he’ll stall or come up with excuses. You approached him in a confident, direct manner and conveyed to him in your own way that you want the relationship to be official. Let him speak and express what’s on his mind and be open to hearing his point of view, even if it’s counter to your own or isn’t what you were hoping to hear.

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